Oh, bah humbug. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it is that time of year again. No, I am not referring to the heartwarming moment where I get to watch my 3 year old daughter open presents on Christmas morning. What I am agitatedly awaiting is that time of year where the bad Christmas songs always seem to be on repeat, attempting to go anywhere is like a scene from The Walking Dead, and finding the courage to navigate the traps and perils of your Holiday office party at work. Here a few tips on how to blend in, not come across like that douchebag Harry from Die Hard and escape Nakatomi Plaza with your dignity, job and life intact this Holiday season.


1. Do not be the designated jerk who insists on telling everyone “Merry Christmas!”

There is no quicker (sober) way to ruin the mood for everyone attending than grumbling your opinion on what the best way to greet others during this time of the year is. My suggestion: wait for someone to greet you and respond in kind. Regardless of what anyone says or does, you will get to celebrate your holiday in whatever way you want.

2. Your hour long office party is not Happy Hour or pre-game Power Hour.

There are plenty of family and friends that I would love to grab drinks with at some point during this or any other holiday, I just do not happen to work with any of those people. If your co-workers are your drinking buddies, that is fine, just understand that there is a better time and place to have a few drinks with co-workers than at a luncheon or dinner with ALL of your co-workers.

3. For the love of all that is Holy, nobody wants to hear your dirty Santa jokes.

Nobody is going to agree to sit on your lap, want to hear misguided “Ho, ho, ho” references or ask what is in your sack. Just drop it and err on the side of corny rather than sounding like a perv.

4. Not everyone has to fall into the categories of Naughty or Nice.

Why is there someone in every office in the world that insists on asking this question the entire month of December? Seriously, after the first two or three times, you start to sound like a villain from a Lifetime movie.

5. Pitch in and bring something.

While some Holiday parties are fully catered, most will involve asking people to bring a side, drinks or dessert. Do not be the person that was either too lazy or too uninterested to be a part of the team. I rarely notice who does not bring anything, but I always recognize and am thankful for those who take the extra step to make the Holiday office party a little more complete.